I jacked off the wrong guy the other night.
Wait, don’t be so judgmental. It can totally happen. Let me explain how it went down.
First, I haven’t been fucked in a couple of months. If you’ve read any of my stories you know that that doesn’t sit well with me. This is going to sound really crude but you’re my diary so I can say whatever’s on my mind, right? I mean, it’s not like anyone’s gonna read it.
Well, my pussy is starting to become like the Venus flytrap in Little Shop of Horrors. After a couple of weeks (usually even sooner) it starts to cry, “Feed me Seymour!”
And I haven’t fed it in a while so it’s getting antsy. Hey I’m sorry but I’m a modern woman and I’m achin’ for some bacon.
The last douchebag I went out with didn’t exac...Read More