I jacked off the wrong guy the other night.
Wait, don’t be so judgmental. It can totally happen. Let me explain how it went down.
First, I haven’t been fucked in a couple of months. If you’ve read any of my stories you know that that doesn’t sit well with me. This is going to sound really crude but you’re my diary so I can say whatever’s on my mind, right? I mean, it’s not like anyone’s gonna read it.
Well, my pussy is starting to become like the Venus flytrap in Little Shop of Horrors. After a couple of weeks (usually even sooner) it starts to cry, “Feed me Seymour!”
And I haven’t fed it in a while so it’s getting antsy. Hey I’m sorry but I’m a modern woman and I’m achin’ for some bacon.
The last douchebag I went out with didn’t exactly pan out. Remember him? The bodybuilder who was “uncomfortable” with going down on me? After I’d sucked his cock like I suck a chocolate milkshake out of a McDonald’s straw (like a vein is about to pop out my forehead is what I’m saying).
Way too much info right? Sorry.
Okay, so this is what happened.
Bateman. That was his name. Yes, one of those guys who has a first name but for some reason likes to pretend he’s in the military and go by his last. He was a banker or a teller…I don’t know. He worked at a fucking bank.
Bateman. He looked hot in his picture. Yes, okay, he was an online fling at first.
Jill, my indie porn making bestie, hooked us up. He was some guy she’d chatted with but didn’t want much to do with her once he found out she liked to get fucked on camera. That’s reasonable right? Since he was a sweetheart even after he found out, she suggested we meet.
We chatted for a little while online. Since Jill hadn’t met him in person I was kind of afraid he’d end up being a sick psycho killer or something. But our connection was instant.
He’d send me cute little memes with flowers and romantic sayings. Some of it was a little cheesy but I’d had enough bad boys in my past. Cheesy was sounding pretty good.
Don’t get me wrong, the guy definitely knew how to go from cheese to steam. The first time we sexted was a couple of weeks ago. I wrote that I wasn’t feeling very well, just a simple cold.
He wrote back that if he were there with me he’d take care of me.
I asked how.
It was an innocent question…kinda. You know those kind of questions, right? That if ignored, no harm no foul, but if they jump on it you’re totally down for a graphic conversation? The kind of questions someone usually types LOL after, as if that makes it okay.
Can you imagine if someone was actually laughing out loud after asking those kinds of questions? Just sitting at his or her keyboard typing shit like, “So why don’t you send me a naked picture of your tits, Baharararhahahararhahahahahahaaha! (my imitation of what laughing out loud might really sound like from someone like this).
So back to my innocent question, which I DID NOT type LOL after.
“How would you take care of me?”
I knew where I hoped my question would lead. And boy did it.
It started with making me some soup and lying on the couch with me as we watched whatever chick flick I had in mind.
Spooning. Just the thought of a man behind me with his jeans zipper bumping up against my ass sends my mind racing. He explained how he’d hold me from behind, a hand on my waist, while the other ran through my hair.
“What movie are we watching?” he asked.
Who the fuck cares?!?! I thought
“Love Actually,” I replied.
Who doesn’t like Love Actually? If only Kiera Knightley would have rushed out her front door and straddled Rick from The Walking Dead right there on the street…sorry, my thoughts getting away from me.
Soon, Bateman had his imaginary hand down my pants, giving special attention to my clit while he turned my face so our mouths could meet.
Yep, I totally masturbated through this conversation, dipping my left hand into my wet panties while my right did its best to reply to Bateman with short words like, “Wow.” “Uh huh.” “Hot.” “Yes.”
So the foreplay was definitely cranked up by the time Bateman suggested we go out on an actual date. I was scared. No, bad word choice. I was just nervous. What if I didn’t like him? What if he didn’t like me? And what if, after all this time talking, we ended up not fucking? That would be heartbreaking.
During our last online chat he asked me, “So what would you do if when you opened your front door, I just kissed you right away? No words. Just a kiss.”
And I said, “I dare you.”
The funny thing is I’d kind of forgotten about that as I waited for him to pick me up. Suzie and Vince were in the bedroom doing hot yoga or some shit so I was all alone waiting for my date.
He knocked, I opened the door, and before I even had the chance to really take in the fact that Bateman was there in front of me, he said, “Oh God…”
With that one cut off piece of sexiness, he wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me passionately. I’m talking all tongue. And it was fucking fantastic. I sank into his arms and knew right then that I was going to fuck this man by the end of the night.
No maybe about it.
Once we were in the car things got a bit awkward. I couldn’t help thinking of my car ride with Braden. Remember him? Yes, I’m still messed up in the head over that guy. When a guy has his way with you all over a carnival, he’s hard to forget.
And there in the car, looking at Bateman, I realized he was no Braden. He was handsome. He was tall, elegant, and had an adorable grin, but I didn’t want him quite the same way I’d wanted the man who’d awoken the sexual frenzy I had growing inside of me.
The constant ache that couldn’t be soothed.
I’d fucked several guys since Braden and still, my pussy was craving the man. His dick was like the Shangri-La I couldn’t quite locate or replace. I was grasping at cock colored straws.
As I sat contemplating my dry spell, Bateman glanced over at me and gave me a little wink. And I realized I’d be okay. Maybe Mandy would find something good with this guy. Maybe.
He pulled up to the restaurant, a new place I’d never heard of. The lit-up sign out front read: Senseless.
“Ever been here?” he asked.
“Never heard of it,” I replied.
“You’ll love it. It’s Italian cuisine with a twist.”
Now, I’d heard of those restaurants where you’re in a dark room and can’t see anything at all. But this place had an added challenge. As we entered, we found a bunch of people waiting in the lobby. A hodgepodge of people all squished in together.
Not long after our arrival, three men in tuxedos came out and handed each of us a pair of big, black earphones.
“It’s gonna be dark in there,” Bateman said. “You won’t be able to see a thing. Just hold my hand.”
He took my hand in his and smiled.
I put the headphones on and the world went silent.
The lights went out in the lobby. It was pitch black. But Bateman gripped my hand firmly and I was comfortable. He began to pull me as it seemed the line of people were making their way into a different room.
I inched forward, one foot at a time, shuffling, until my foot caught something, and I went down. I fell over something, let go of Bateman’s hand, and landed on a table. My earphones almost came completely off.
I heard gasps and the rattling of silverware as I moved my hands around wildly trying to figure out what was going on. I felt behind me and there was a woman on the floor. Apparently she’d tripped before I did and I tumbled over her.
“Is everyone okay?” I heard the waiter ask.
“I’m fine,” I answered.
“I’m so sorry,” the woman behind me said a few times.
“Bateman?” I asked as I reached out, trying to find his hand in the darkness.
And he was there, gripping my hand again, like the gentleman he was. He was there for me. Suddenly I was so glad it was dark. Falling face first into a decorated table would have been too embarrassing if I’d been able to be seen.
So, absent sound and site, I moved step by step to our table, a little more carefully than I’d done before.
And I sat.
There was no conversation since nothing could be heard. I kept thinking it was an odd place to take someone for a first date. It was all taste and touch. Then I figured taste and touch might not be such a bad thing. Talking was overrated.
Some men think that’s all there mouth is for.
The appetizer came first and it was good. Some sort of bruschetta it seemed.
I wanted more out of this date than just food and silence. So I let my hand wander over to Bateman’s lap. I rested it on his thigh.
And he scooted closer.
Then his hand found mine and gently rested on top of it.
I slid my hand a little further, to the spot between his balls and his leg.
There’s something about the thrill of the hunt, not knowing whether I should make a move or not, that just gets my juices flowing. My heart began to race as I contemplated how far I should take this. What if he pushed my hand away?
I felt myself getting wet at the thought of unzipping him.
I opened my hand, stretching out my fingers, until my nails were pushing up against the bulge of his balls. They were heavy. That or it was his cock I was touching. Either way, I was touching him.
And his fingers ran over the back of my hand, stroking it, as if letting me know that it was okay. I could go further.
So I did.
I pursed my lips and closed my eyes tight, not that I needed to, and went for it. I put my hand over the outline of his dick and cupped it there. And it stirred. I could feel it move as it began to wake up a little. It wasn’t hard, but it had grown slightly.
And then I didn’t have to wonder anymore as he reached down and undid his pants for me, unbuttoning and unzipping them. I turned my hand around, palm up, and waited for it.
When he placed it in the palm of my hand, the weight of it made my mouth water. It was nice, thick, warm.
I closed my hand around it, taking it in my fist, and felt the length of it bend, lying over my knuckles.
Without being there, you can’t possibly understand how wet I got. I had this man’s huge dick in my hand and I couldn’t see or hear anything. It was just touch. And touching was fucking great.
I let my fingernails brush against his balls and he stiffened immediately. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. And he grew and grew.
Fuck he was hard.
I slid my hand up and down him, making sure to run my thumb over the head of is cock each time I rose up to the tip.
He reached out for my thigh, grabbed it, and gripped it. With each upstroke he squeezed, letting me know that I was doing it right.
And I stroked him, feeling him full in my grip, imagining how I’d sit on his cock later that night, taking all of that heaviness into me. It was going to hurt and I was going to love every fucking sigh, whimper, and cry that poured from my mouth.
Suddenly I was fisting him hard. I couldn’t help it. I was so fucking horny.
His hand reached up and pulled one of my earphones to the side.
“Holy shit, where have you been all my life?” he whispered.
“Right here, baby. You just didn’t look hard enough,” I replied, not sure if he’d removed his earphones and could hear me.
Or if anyone else was cheating and could hear me. Then I figured, let ‘em hear. Might liven up their evening too.
“I want to fuck you,” he whispered.
“Yes,” I said.
He let go of my earphone and it snapped back into place.
I ran my finger up to the head of his cock, cupped my hand over it hard, and jerked there for a second, staying right there at the head, but putting intense pressure on it as I pulled on the tip of his cock.
He squeezed my thigh so hard it hurt and I knew he was loving it.
I shifted gears and slid back down jacking him off vigorously. And I felt his pulse against my hand, throbbing, and I knew it was only a couple more seconds before he’d be coming.
With my free hand I found a napkin and brought it down, getting it ready.
I pumped his cock once, twice, thrice and I felt it jerk with the force of his release.
I held the napkin over it to make sure it wouldn’t shoot anywhere and kept fist fucking my man. His hot cum ran over my fingers and lubricated my hand as I continued to jack him off.
I wished I could slide his chair back, straddle him, and sink down onto his cock. Fuck I was horny.
I drained him completely and then wiped him down and cleaned my hand off with the napkin. I fumbled through my purse for my hand sanitizer, doused myself, and that was that.
I was grinning from ear to ear thinking of what he would do to me later that night. I’d definitely sealed the deal.
After dinner, I took his hand as I was led out of the room by one of the waiters.
The light was on in the lobby. As we made our way out of the darkness, I took off the headphones and turned to Bateman.
“Take me some place private,” I said.
And I was confused. Shocked really. It wasn’t Bateman’s hand I was holding. It was some other guy. Not a bad looking guy but definitely not Bateman.
He smiled at me.
Behind him I saw Bateman walk out holding the hand of some other girl. He looked just as confused as I did.
“Hey,” my new friend said. “That was unforgettable. We should meet up later.”
“You want to…what? Fucking asshole,” I said.
And I couldn’t even be as mad as I wanted to be. I was still so confused. Was it possible that this guy had just let me jerk him off? Me? A complete stranger?
His girlfriend let go of Bateman’s hand and took off her earphones.
“What the fuck?” she said, looking as puzzled as I’m sure I did.
And I didn’t have an answer.
Apparently, when I’d tripped and fell earlier, I’d accidentally grabbed this guy’s hand who somehow, seemed to know I wasn’t his girlfriend. And Bateman had accidentally grabbed the other girl’s hand…it was fucked up.
The only one really happy was the douchebag who’d just received an unwarranted handjob from yours truly.
Bateman drove me home, laughing the whole time about how goofy the whole mix up had been. He had no idea. And I felt horrible. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and he dropped me off with a cute little kiss.
I never spoke to him again.
And that, dear diary, is how I jacked off the wrong man last night.
Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this short little diary entry, please check out my first two books, Kinky Carnival Games and Margaritas by Moonlight. The third, Slippery When Wet, will be out soon.
And don’t forget to check out all the other books by C.C. Genovese at this link: http://www.amazon.com/C.C.-Genovese/e/B00TW2B4I4