Sexy News with Chris C. Genovese?
Yeah I’m no Walter Cronkite, but this is something that I’ve thought of doing for a while now. So, in addition to writing some erotic books, rhyming some pornographic thoughts and calling it poetry, and spilling my insane imagination all over Facebook, I’m planning to scour the web from time to time (I can’t commit to any due dates because I’m scared of commitment, other than my 14 year marriage) and post the results here so we can all talk shit about it and gossip and whatever else these articles spark. So here we go. Here’s the first sexual news roundup.
Getting Dinosaur Dong
Yes, goofy name I know, but dinosaur erotica is real. I had no idea. I found an article about it at the following link.
A friend of mine jokes with me all the time about it. He knows I write erotica so whenever the subject comes up, he always asks, “So how’s the dinosaur porn going?” I always thought it was just something he made up but apparently not. Now I’m afraid to ask how he knew about it, lol.
Seems women having sex with raptors and triceratopses (is it even triceratopses? Horse/horses, mouse/mice, triceratops/triceratopopotumuses?)
Ok, so just so you know, it’s a real thing. These books are selling like hotcakes.
I’ve mentioned before that I had to clear out my search history on Amazon because I didn’t know what gay tentacle porn was and thought to myself, “Surely it can’t be gay-tentacle-porn…right?”
It definitely is. I found that out when I looked it up. Looked it up once, saw it was real, then forgot about it. But Amazon never forgets. Never! One day when my son was standing behind me and I went to look something up on Amazon, right there at the bottom of the screen it read: Since you searched for this (picture of studly guy with a tentacle wrapping around him) you might like these…yes, these consisted of a lot more pictures of tentacles about to thrash their way into some male anus.
Hey, I wonder if anyone has tried gay tentacle dinosaur porn…or wait…Gay Tentacle Billionaire Stepbrother Dinosaur porn…I feel an idea coming on.
Hot dudes and dogs
Yeah, that’s a shitty headline and it has nothing to do with male models eating a foot long. We’re talking a new calendar put together by an all-male veterinarian fraternity. So mostly shirtless dudes with adorable puppies. You read that right. Veterinarian, not veterans. Not this time.
I’ve seen your posts on Facebook and many of you love your dogs more than you love your man. So what could be better? Check out this link if you want to see the full article on Huffington Post but for the most part it’s just explaining that Omega Tau Sigma veterinary fraternity at Cornell’s College of Veterinary Medicine is donating 15% of the profits to the Patient Assistance Fund which helps pet owners afford veterinarian assistance for their animals.
So if you want a conversation starter for your office cubicle or something to pull out from between the mattress and box spring whenever your husband is busy watching Sports Center, click the link to get more info and support a good cause.
Here’s the link to that article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/men-of-vet-school-2016_56660213e4b079b2818fc252
Sex ed is way too soft
According to Newsweek, sex ed isn’t being taken seriously enough. The CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) released a report stating that less than half of U.S. high schools and only a fifth of U.S. middle schools are teaching the 16 suggested topics meant to help young adults become fully aware of all possible diseases, pregnancy risks, and prevention practices.
Now, I don’t remember sex ed ever being very good when I was a kid. I think we watched a black and white movie and I’m not even that fucking old. I’m 36. So things have to have improved, right? CAuse these kids know a lot of shit. My daughter, 13 years old, told me the other day that one of her teachers was asked how gay guys do it. The teacher told them, “In the butt.” I’m in Central America though. If someone answered like that in the U.S. there’d probably be a lawsuit.
Most of these kids nowadays are getting their info from movies and 50 Shades of Grey. Maybe the schools should let me, C.C. Genovese, put together a video ahahaha. Can you imagine? Wolves Love Red as mandatory reading. Or Maybe Mandy explaining her relationship woes for a high school audience? Not a good idea.
I think the American Pie movies taught me most of what I learned growing up. I learned about oral sex, learned not to fuck an apple pie, learned that Swedish chicks are awesome, and heard the term MILF for the first time. And I’ve loved MILFS and Cougars ever since.
I think schools should put together videos like in the movie The Girl Next Door. That would get the kids’ attention. But on a serious note, kids do need to understand the importance of practicing safe sex and most importantly we need to make condoms easier to access. I remember being a kid and being really nervous to go to the store and buy condoms.
I should have felt super badass since I was a high school student getting some every day (and smart enough to use a condom) but I was nervous That shouldn’t be the case. Kids should be able to easily pick up condoms for free somewhere.
And I don’t mean they should have to go downtown to a planned parenthood center and enter a clinic full of people sitting in a waiting room where they need to go up to an administrator and ask, “Excuse me but do you have…umm…do you…you know…have…nevermind.”
What do y’all think?
By the way, here’s the link to that Newsweek article: http://www.newsweek.com/us-schools-still-lack-sufficient-sex-education-programs-404328
Now this is customer service
Ha, I’m fishing for stories to share with you guys and just as I finished reading the Newsweek article above, I found this article out of the UK:
This 19-year-old teenager has written so many positive reviews for a sex toy company that they now send her free toys to test, just for her reviews.
WTF! The most I’ve gotten is free brownies when Papa Johns fucked up my pizza order. My wife would be one happy woman if I could manage to get some free sex toys out of my writing. I’m gonna start making up some outlandish reviews.
I know you ladies reading this are probably aready opening up a new tab at Adam & Eve to start posting some positive reviews, ahahahaha. I love you guys.
What gets me is she works in the insurance industry by day and has her name (and her boyfriend’s name) in this article, talking all about how she craves sex 3 times per day and her boyfriend helps her try out these toys. That’s one bold woman. Of course the names are probably fake but still.
Lovehoney, the company sending her free stuff, has supplied her with so many sex toys and so much bondage gear she has pounds of it stuffed away in drawers. Hey, if she’s helping them sell, they should be helping her get off, right? Makes sense.
It’s now safe to move to Iceland
Whether you’re a dom or a sub, chances are, if you live in Icleand, you’ve been shunned as if you carry rabies. Now, I don’t know if this is some sort of joke article or something but it seems real. It’s really short though so who knows.
Apparently Denmark classified BDSM as a disease twenty years ago along with many other countries in the area. Well an official recommendation might take BDSM off the list of ailments. So don’t worry, if you plan to move to Iceland, you’re no longer at risk of catching BDSM.
Here’s the link where I found it: http://icelandmonitor.mbl.is/news/politics_and_society/2015/12/11/bdsm_no_longer_a_disease_in_iceland/
A Sex Question App
All this time I’ve wasted on Candy Crush and Evernote when I could have been asking sex questions for some fodder for my books? Come on!!!! Who wants to sit on the toilet and play games when I could be enhancing my sexual knowledge? Wait…I don’t really play Candy Crush on the toilet. You guys are learning way too much about me lately.
So there’s this app and if you already know about it, just skip all this, lol. I’m always late with this technological information.
I bought a PS3 right before PS4 came out! I’m currently looking for a waffle maker. A fucking waffle maker. Do people still look for those or is it just me? Today my daughter asked for waffles so I made her pancakes and told her to cut little squares into them.
Ok, so if you have questions about the G-spot, or which positions provide more pleasure, or how to handle erectile dysfunction, or if you just want to laugh your ass off at some of the answers you might receive, you should totally check out the Smartsex app. I think it might just be for iPhones though. I’m not 100% sure on that.
Really the app is mostly focused on mental and physical health as it relates to sex but a strong emphasis is also put on the importance of foreplay. Check out this article here to read more about it:
And that’s that. I either really suck at sharing news with you guys or you’re gonna love it. Let me know so I can either keep going with these things or drop this shit altogether and move on to something else.
This is just one of the many things I’m planning to add to this website. Natalie Rhodes, my PA and bestest buddy, is helping me put some cool stuff together for you guys. I want this website to be a g0-t0 website for fun information. Look for author spotlights, poetry, games, maybe some reviews and interviews, and all kinds of other cool stuff.
Thanks so much for reading.
Your partner in crime,
Chris C. Genovese (C.C. Genovese)