Hey y’all. This is Flip DaBird back with another wild author interview. I had to slow it down a bit so you wouldn’t get tired of reading the same ol’ questions. Once we get through this round of authors, I might revamp the questions and do it all over again. This time, I’m sitting down with the ridiculously talented Krihstin Zink. She’s ready to get wild with your boy, Flip. So let’s do this.
FLIP: Hi Krihstin. I like to put emphasis on that “H” in your name so that it comes out sounding seductive when I say it. All breathy. Like, Krihhhhhhhhstin. Come on, that has to get you people hot and bothered hearing me say Krihhhhhstin. Ok, stop laughing Krihstin. You’ve got questions to answer.
Krihstin: Thanks, Chris, for including me. Hi, everyone! I’m Krihstin Zink: wife, mama, freelance editor, and lustmance-thriller writer.
FLIP: Who’s this Chris guy? This is Flip, remember. (Dammit, Krihstin, I’m trying to stay in secret superhero mode, like Batman). Wait, lustmance-thriller? I’ve never heard of that before. That sounds really cool. How many books have you written?
Krihstin: Three: Scarlet’s Torment, Scarlet Unleashed, and 3 Grams.
FLIP: I know you write romance/thrillers or lustmance-thrillers, but just how dark will you go with your writing? I guess I’m asking, what will you not ever write?
Krihstin: Nothing is off limits—I sort of enjoy shocking readers.
FLIP: I like being shocked. You wanna really shock readers? Give ‘em a pair of electric nipple clamps with each book. That’ll do the trick. What’s the best thing someone has written in a review of your book?
Krihstin: Grams Goodreads Review: “. . . Krihstin Zink brings such a uniqueness to her books that just can’t be copied she made this story captivating and suspenseful absolutely loved this!!!”
FLIP: Nice. And the worst thing?
Krihstin: Scarlet’s Torment Amazon Review: “. . . I felt the characters weren’t well developed, the plot was predictable, and nothing really stood out to me.”
FLIP: Ouch. How would you feel if you went to someone’s house and you saw your book holding up their couch?
Krihstin: I would remove my book and leave.
FLIP: What if someone was sitting on it and you jerked your book out and they went tumbling and then they sued you and…well…serves ‘em right for putting your fucking book under their couch. You know what would be awesome to do? Yank out your paperback and replace it with their kindle. Let their cracked screen serve as a reminder that they shouldn’t have fucked with Krihhhhhhstin Zink.
FLIP: Ok, let’s get dirty. If you had no arms and were extremely horny, what would you use to masturbate?
Krihstin: Hmm . . . My husband’s tongue.
FLIP: Oh shit. This is that moment when I must adjust…there much better. Yes, consider me shocked. Great answer. Would you rather watch porn or read erotica?
Krihstin: Read erotica.
FLIP: Peanut butter and jelly? Or tuna?
FLIP: Would you rather watch porn on an old VHS tape that kept fixing the tracking at all the good parts? Or read erotica straight from a relative’s diary?
Krihstin: Barf! For sure—the messed up VHS porn.
FLIP: Ahahahaha. How would you feel if you were at a roller skating rink and the DJ suddenly put on an audio recording of one of your books? And people skated harder, like it was their motherfucking jam?
Krihstin: I would probably blush and quickly hide in a dark corner.
FLIP: You would? Not me! I’d start a skating conga line and make sure everyone dipped each time I used the word “Fuck” in the book. Ok, next question. If you were a dude, would you rather be on a nude beach on a cold day with a shriveled dick? Or on a gay beach on a hot day with ass-less swim trunks?
Krihstin: Well . . . I guess, ass-less swim trunks.
FLIP: Yeah, that’s kind of an insulting question, right? Like every gay dude on the beach is gonna want to fuck you in the ass. That’s not even realistic. They’d have to first find you attractive and second be so insanely horny that they just can’t NOT fuck you in the ass. How likely is that? Thank God I don’t write M/M stuff. Everyone would just be running around fucking each other in the ass. Totally kidding. Maybe I should write M/M stuff. Stay on track, Flip. Ok, You’re with a really sexy man. Would you rather find out you’re seriously allergic to latex, after you’ve started fucking with a condom? Or be lactose intolerant and find out his edible briefs were made of cheese…right after you went down and they’re about to return the favor?
Krihstin: Lawd! Haha! Hmm . . . Allergic to latex.
FLIP: Would you rather get a Halloween bag full of cassette tapes by Color Me Badd? Or a bag full of little poop-scented hand sanitizer bottles?
Krihstin: Tapes of Color Me Badd.
FLIP: I’m gonna have to change that one to like Milli Vanilli. Please answer which of these you like more: Gummy bears or sweet tarts?
Krihstin: Gummy bears.
FLIP: Firm chest or a nice ass?
Krihstin: Nice ass.
FLIP: Oral sex performed on you with a little teeth involved? Or oral sex and a finger in your butt?
Krihstin: Oral with a finger.
FLIP: Are you one of those “teeth don’t belong anywhere near my clit” kind of girls? No fun! Ok, please answer which of these you hate more: Rats or cockroaches?
FLIP: Clowns or porcelain dolls?
FLIP: Your period or he has a soft dick at the wrong time?
FLIP: Running out of toilet paper? Or sharting?
Krihstin: Oh. My. Gawd! These questions. Haha! Sharting.
FLIP: Your man sneezing when he’s about to cum, then instantly going soft? Or coughing when he’s about to slide in, then accidentally bumping your rump?
Krihstin: Accidental rump bumping.
FLIP: If you could punch one person in the face, who would it be?
Krihstin: Definitely, Kasey Anthony.
FLIP: If you slap one man in the face with your tits, who would it be?
Krihstin: These question, though. Haha! Uhh . . . my hubs, since he’d love that.
FLIP: If you could have one man slap you on the clit with his dick, who would it be?
Krihstin: Again, my hubs (If I named anyone else, it’d be too much of a diss—I can’t do that to him.).
FLIP: Good, loyal answer. You’ve got a keeper Mr. Hubs. Ok, of all the characters you’ve created, which one is most likely to masturbate while driving down the highway listening to St. Elmos Fire?
FLIP: What would your character (please name him/her) say if a random guy/girl (a sexy one) walked up behind them and slid their hand up the crack of their ass?
Krihstin: “Ohh-fuck-yeah—don’t stop!”
FLIP: I think I’m already in love with Kate. If you could fuck a character from someone else’s book (even famous authors), who would it be?
Krihstin: I’ll let you know when I find that character.
FLIP: If you could spend the day in a famous person’s body, meaning having sex as them, masturbating as them, eating fish tacos as them…who would it be? And why?
Krihstin: J-Lo because she has a big-big booty. Haha!
FLIP: What a fucking coincidence. I’d like to spend a day INSIDE J-Lo’s body too…because she has a big-big booty! If you woke up tomorrow as a member of the opposite sex, what’s the first thing you would do?
Krihstin: Roll over and scare the shit out of my hubs: “Boo, fucker!” Hahaha!
FLIP: That might be the best answer I’ve had to that question. Thank you so much for being a good sport. We love you! Guys, please check out Krihstin’s links below. She’s been such an amazing sport and that’s awesome. Here are here links:
Krihstin’s Website: http://krihstinzink.wixsite.com/kzwrites